Here I am...the middle man...er well Woman...with UPDATES!!!!!

Hey there people,

The person at the helm...behind the screen at the keyboard...the messenger between you all and the great Johnston Blackhorse the one and only...here...also known as his younger sister. The_Keeper...I have been thinking of what to call myself here...I think I like The_Keeper...let me know what you all think. It was either that or Shadow...I don't know though I am not good at naming things.

Well..here we go part of my side to everything...When I was in the Phoenix area I had a job that paid me well. I lived with family members and I had many friends there. I was in Tempe for 8 years (2 years in College 4 yrs at Wally World...the last 3 years in a manufacturing plant)...but once I heard that my brother was in trouble back in August 26th of 2014...I jumped...

I helped pay for his rent and his bills for months...while paying for my own bills. We talked on the phone almost everyday. I had to tell him over and over that there was nothing wrong with him and that I will always love him. 

Then I took a vacation from work and went out to San Diego on May the 16-17th of 2015 with my best friend then dropped by Las Vegas on the 17-20th to visit my brother for a few days. That was it...I knew I had to do more then just help with money and talk to him over the phone...but what? What could I do? He was selling everything!!! He was trying so hard to stay a float while on house arrest and being unemployed. 

Weeks passed and JB called me and asked if I could move in with him to help...so I did. Yeah of course I had my doubts and fears. Yeah I was second guessing everything. For like a fucking day! The very next morning I put my 2 weeks notice in...told my sister and her family that I was moving out...said good bye to all my friends and spent some time with family...packed everything in my best friend's trunk and back seat and said good bye to Arizona. 

On June 23rd of 2015 I came here to Las Vegas to help my brother mentally, financially and physically get back on his feet. To become the man I know he can and will be. Be the artist we all need. 

If you have been reading his bibliographical comic strips I thank you. If you have been around as a fan of his...of Bhawk or R34Rox...or as a fan of N_01, Natis_01...Natas_01, I thank you.

I know that some of you have been checking his blog to see what is going on and I want to apologize for not keeping you all up to date...I have not been well mentally and physically. Honestly I have been down in the dumps because...finally here I am JB's younger sister, a part of his life helping him pick up the pieces and he had to leave.

I came here with only some clothes,

 books, movies and an air mattress to my name...

My bicycle was stolen a few weeks before I decided to move...

but that was okay because JB had an extra :) 

Mine is Nameless (the blue one)

His is Cinnamon

One of the most favorite times he had was riding his bike when he could. His endurance riding his bike in the desert heat was amazing! I literally almost passed out after riding my bike with him on one of his errands...that took us 2 hours of riding in the heat...it took us that long because my endurance was shit...now I can go for a lot further and for a lot longer! I have never seen him look so worried when I almost hit the concrete...I just leaned again the fence quickly. Hahaha...good times! 

The weeks leading up to him leaving were full of him drawing like a mad man. 

They were filled with laughter and long deep conversations that were way over due. I have never been this close to him before. To find out that my brother is myself in a mirror is wild. I to have felt so alone in my life drinking, smoking and living hollow for what feels like an eternity.

I finally have found my twin a few years older than I. And when I say my twin I am scary serious...we both have the same interests...timeline and similarities...when he was binge drinking and close to calling it quits on life I was right there with him. Passing out close to giving in...wanting to crawl into the depths of my own demise and sleep. We were hundreds of miles apart and we never saw eye to eye growing up but we were both feeling the same shit at the same time.

Finally being at peace with who I am and what I have been through as a child. For weeks we shared our darkest secrets...truth...bold, harsh, cold...death staring you in the eyes truth...I feel real now. I feel like I actually exist in this physical world. My brother and I shared memories and stories from the past that I never thought I could share with anyone and be understood.

For a while we lived off of rice and chicken with mustard and ketchup. Which is what he was living off of before I moved in. 

Then things were picking up in the last few weeks we had left which means

Fffffffooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!! 

We ate Pizza, burgers and fries...curry...bacon waffles with chicken!

We ate so much I think we both gained 20 lbs each...or at least that is what it felt like. 

The Pizza on September 19th was AWESOME!!!! Thanks to all those that donated or got commissions...or won auctions...you made our last few weeks together great! Some days we watched Metalocalpse, Breaking Bad...we got Netflix DVDs mailed in...my brother got to enjoy youtube videos and get up to date on somethings he couldn't get before I moved in with the internet.

He was drawing and I was out trying to make money on side gigs with costumes...on the Vegas Strip...I helped these guys with some costume making...I worked for tips taking pictures with tourists...

Fucking A!!! It was hot in that mutha! HAHAHA

Aww but I don't do this anymore though...I didn't really like dealing with certain kinds of people. The kids were awesome though! They would scream for Elmo but the parents would yank em away...the tips weren't that great. It really depended on the day and the people. 

I also work on my own personal commissions...I draw but in a different style from my brother...and I need to practice more now that I am getting things back together I can study from my brothers anatomy books that he left for me. So for those of you that are wanting to learn to draw it's really never to late ;)

I to have been drawing for years...but I was not as dedicated as my brother...

I helped raise my younger brothers and sisters...(We are the proud oldest out of 7)

I did commissions for people that I worked with...some people paid others didn't. 

I had a system where I would draw it then ask for the money...it doesn't work that way. 

(Like this tiger...guy didn't want to pay for it)

The people that got this were pleased...the bf paid :) 

This was my second completed work I ever did and I still have the original...

And I don't think I'll part ways from it now. 

(Charcoal/Prisma Pencils)

Then like these I just did for the moment...

I usually don't work well with color

(Oil Pastels)

(Oil Paint)

(Just Cheap Chalk in some Bar)

I also write and sculpt...thinking about playing the guitar...HAHAHA

(Ceramics)

I also work with Graphics and Photoshop...

but I haven't in a long time

Anways...

While we were trying to make as much as possible as fast as possible we were still falling behind and time was passing to fast...I have not see my brother in 5 years before all this...and here I was finally.

He comes out to me for help and now I am here on this side of the screen with all of his belongings holding everything down as much as I can. The day that he had to go I fell apart...

We knew the day was coming but when it was here I couldn't believe it. I found a part time job a few weeks ago and I have just been working, sleeping, eating and sleeping more...watching pointless shows and carrying on in some sluggish daze. Then it happened...

He called me...my brother is doing just fine...We talked for about a good 30+ minutes total...like 3 calls in 2 days...and he sent me some mail!!!

Here he is my brother the one and only

Of course...

So yeah this is pretty much everything that he sent me...

In the letter he is saying that he is fine where he is and that where he is everyone is just keeping to themselves and that they're all just wanting to do their time and get out without complications since it's a low security prison. Also the only thing he is worried about is me worrying LMAO which is all that I have been doing...

Now that I see his goofy ass smile I can get my shit back together and get the wheels turning. SO today I posted some more auctions. I haven't done this as soon as I should've but hey here we go now. Everything that goes to the paypal...whether it be from the auctions or donations will be going to his online bills, internet and his commissary account there for art materials, phone calls, letter writing and snacks.

Ever since he called me and  wrote to me I have been feeling a lot better...I have been jogging here and there...working better and riding my bike more often...and also cooking more...I love to cook :) I've been cooking since he left though...it was the only time I lost myself in something good! 

So here is leaving you all on a good note...Have a great day people!!!

Omelets with a lot of good stuff...like bacon!

Burgers with Pepper jack chees, mushroom and cooked spinach! And usual toppings.

Breakfast! YUM! 

More Breakfast! Cooked Veggies, spinach with shredded pepper jack 

on top of bacon and over easy eggs.

Messy and delicious! 

Dinner...mmmhmmm....chicken, pasta, olives, mushrooms 

with some meat sauce and parmesan...and more!

Spaghetti and salad! 

Chicken Alfredo!

Oh also I will be posting the comics that he sent to me...once I get them scanned and uploaded. They are very sketchy and rough but he'll fix them up when he gets the chance! 

So you can see me finally after seeing who my brother is...

you can see the person supporting him through all this Bullshit ;) 

Look out world!!!