Sure I might just be a rando nobody, but I really want to be president of the United States of America. There are plenty of reasons as to why I want to become president, but let me be as forthcoming and transparent as possible. The main reason I wand to be president is because I want to convict and execute a number of people. Bear in mind these are people working in positions of authority whom have made my life a living hell.
Now before I get into it, let's take a step back and think. The United States of America holds 5% of the world's population, yet houses 75% of the world's inmates? Is that to say we have more criminal minds in 3rd of the North American continent in which we inhabit? Naw, it's because of the United States ridiculous 'tough-on-crime' rhetoric. We don't have more criminals than other regions in the world. We just criminalize more behaviors than other regions of the world. Other countries punish you on criminal actions alone, but here in the US, if your behavior is perceived to be criminal then you are treated as such for your 'potential' of criminality.
Take our drug laws, for instance. When you get high, objectively you're only doing harm to yourself. So, is getting high illegal? Not necessarily. If you're caught in public being high, then yes. If you're caught with drug paraphernalia, then double-yes. But if you talk about times you were high and intend to get high in the future, then that's okay. You can't get arrested for being high at one point or get charged with premeditation of getting high. It's not like a murder, rape, or burglary; right? So why is getting high so bad? Well you're not really getting charged for getting or being high necessarily. You're getting charged for the potential harm you might do unto others when you are high. You might hurt someone, you might steal, you might kill. Many laws are enacted for the harm you might do, and that's mostly due to our fear based culture. These fears are so prevalent in our highly policed society that the law has seen fit to criminalize the behavior of getting high for fear of the actions you might commit.
Sure, there are many people who would go to extreme lengths in order to score the drugs they seek. Except, things wouldn't be so bad if we just allowed these drugged dregs of society to have their fix. I believe Portland had the right idea in de-criminalizing drugs. However, where they went wrong is resuscitating the numerous cases of narcotic ODs. I say let the junkies have their drugs and die from them too. What's the harm? fewer leaches on society? Let's go for it! I want to legalize all natural grown substances and de-criminalize processed narcotics while restricting any medical aid in cases of junkie ODs. Let their addictions sort 'em out. But don't get me wrong, if there are people who can manage their use and still be productive members of society; more power to them. However, those who keep risking their lives and edging the brink of death?... fuk 'em!
Now before I stray too far of my original point, let's rationalize. Criminalizing subjective behavior on top of objective criminal actions via this "tough-on-crime" rhetoric has only lead us to the dangerous overcrowding of United States prisons. This rhetoric and overcrowding has lead to a dangerous environment filled with people who were meant to be rehabilitated. Instead, perceived criminality is being exacerbated to the level of literal criminality amongst the inmates we house in the US right now. Take me for example. Before prison I was a fairly genial guy, but now I'm full of murderous rage. HAH! So we aren't helping anyone by sending them to prison. We're just giving them a temporary stay outside of society where they can learn to be better criminals. Our prison system in tandem with our current laws just don't work.
Yes, concerning my stays in prison, I'm filled with a bitter vindictive hate that will not be quelled. The best thing I can do with it is run for president in a pursuit to change things for the better for all Americans. In return I want to convict and execute all the elected officials and policing authorities responsible for the unprecedented violations of my rights (I'm still seething over the fact that I was thrown back into prison over a matter of my own drawings and almost went back again for making a couple of sex joke cartoons that only implied sexual themes without illustrating them... I am seething rage).
Personally I do believe these few people are involved in some form of corruption and if my suspicions are proven to be true, I want them dead. Similarly , any and all elected officials and corrupt policing authorities will be sought out, convicted, then executed.
I mean, come on. These elected officials and crooked politicians are playing with millions of American lives through underhanded deals with corrupt corporations and allowing thousands upon thousands of Americans to die all for the sake of profit. Think about it. Why can't their lives be just as expendable? Short answer is; they should be. These people were elected to offices to keep our best interests in mind, yet they line their pockets with their own interests. Anyone caught selling out our lives in pursuit of monetary gain shouldn't be given a slap on the wrist and excused from their position. Rather, they should be made examples of and put on display during their conviction and executed (I'm thinking of making this executions a pay-per-view event. you know, just an idea).
Now before I sign off on this post, I want to make it clear that I'm not a violent extremist. Yes I wish death on all greedy politicians and corrupt policing authorities, but I don't want them harmed outside the realm of the laws I want to enact. Revenge is sweet, but it'll be a lot sweeter if I can slake my passion for recompense in the legal reforms I will bring.
AND!!! speaking of what changes I want to bring to the table. Here's a small list where I plan to make links to post relating to each topic.
- Fair on crime, tough on corruption
- Codify Roe v. Wade
- Legalize all naturally grown substances
- Decriminalize narcotics
- Raise minimum wage
- Tax the rich
- Fund education
- Remove money out of politics
- End manufacturing of built-to-fail products to aid the environment
- Disincentivize divorce
- Give felons their right to vote
- Resolve southern border tensions
- Create new jobs with all the policies I will sign off on
And I will bring all of this to you in exchange for the sweet bloody revenge I want. I'm sure this is a fare and small price to pay for true liberty, real freedom, and actual justice for all.
